Author: Margaret Hampton
Stories of my friend's adorable grandmother with Dementia really had me bursting into refreshing laughter. "The Fashion Plate." No, there was no problem getting her to change her clothes . . . but she refused to wear her OWN clothes! (They were too nice, you know.) So she would take one piece of clothing from each of the other family members - the father of the house, mother, son, daughters . . . Quite a sight! Especially when she was trying to cinch in the tall father's trousers and wear over-sized shoes. (Grandmother was the only little person in the house.) Then she would walk around and fuss at everyone else, saying they didn't know how to dress! Then there was the time Grandma - a nondrinker - found an unopened bottle of Gin. Her middle-aged son had come home from work and put a new bottle of Gin on the kitchen counter. Then he went back out to take care of a few things. Upon returning exhausted and stressed, he went to fix a cocktail only to find the bottle still on the counter . . . but empty. He asked his wife if she drank it. He asked great-grandmother if she drank it. He asked his grown daughter if she drank it. None of them had. "That leaves the sink and Grandma. Let's hope it's the sink!" He walked into Grandma's bedroom and found her looking pretty loopy with a clear glass in her hand. "Oh, no. Oh, Mama, you didn't!" was all he could say. "That was very, very good water. You should get more. I was very thirsty, so I drank it all." Then she added curiously, "That was funny water. It never had this effect on me before." He just kept stammering, "Oh, no . . . Oh, no . . . Oh, no, no, no . . ." As cognitive function diminishes, it CAN be very funny at times. And you NEED to laugh! But it can be dangerous, too. Needless to say, Grandma was quite sick . . . and the family locked away ammonia, cleansers, and every other thing Grandma might confuse. After all, worse than a toddler, she could reach into cabinets! Yet another friend tells tales of her mother's antics as Dementia was setting in - especially her obsession with hoarding "little restaurant butters." Paranoia, fear of loss, and hoarding are very common with Dementia victims. And some of the stories surrounding these are hilarious! Imagine the expressions on the faces of casual observers as that mother chased my friend down the street. She had just discovered that my friend had cleaned out storage and refrigerator areas that were loaded to overflowing with aging "little butters!" My mother? She hoarded little shampoos from her travels. They became one of her obsessions as Dementia set in. And they were all over the place on her bathroom counter, in its drawers and cabinets and shelves, making it hard to dust or to find more important things. Boy, what an angry lecture she gave my sister for getting rid of some of the dried-up ones cluttering her bathroom! "Madder than a red hen…" Do you have a hoarding story? Bathing story? Cleaning story? Other? Surely, if you have cared for an elderly person with Alzheimer's or Dementia, you have tried to do what was necessary only to be countered with: "We don't do it that way!" We can identify. So how about sharing so we can all have a momentary break with a chuckle!
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