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Let me tell you a story…an ongoing story by the way on hospice. My grandparents died before I was born, my father never went into hospice, I’m caring for my 88 year old Mom, and my Uncle went into hospice – kinda sorta – but that was because he was dying quickly from a staph infection – he was 92. He never really regained consciousness when he went to the nursing home for hospice. His wife moved into the room with him until the end – although we are really close – his wife is my Mom’s sister – it just seemed to have happened, we visited a few times and it was over.

Fast forward two years…his wife, my aunt been sick with sinus infections and orthopedic problems but nothing serious. She continued to live at the nursing home/rehabilitation center after her husband’s death. She wasn’t mobile or able to care for herself but did not have any issues with blood pressure and those things. One night she discovered she was drooling…or that is what she thought…until the nurse discovered the problem and off to the hospital she goes with a heart attack. Not a major deal except for her age – 90 – and she slowly recuperated. After a wonderful visit from my Mom and sister one Sunday …is it 7 weeks now? time passes…they had popcorn and good, talkative visit. But that night she started hemoraging so off to hospital. We were all prepared for the worst when the doctor said they needed to perform a minor operation to determine the cause of the bleeding and thought they would find a tumor in her bladder. At her age we thought it was a risk plus her previous heart attack. She miraculously made it through the surgery, the doctors were surprised to find no tumor in the bladder and determnined it was a severe bladder infection. That night she had another heart attack where it was determined she only had 25% heart function so since we knew she didn’t want to prolong her life she went into hospice.

She was given perhaps a week to live. Well that was 7 weeks ago! She lays in bed in semi-consciousness and is so weak. She tries to eat pureed food. She can answer questions and hears pretty much what goes on but I don’t think she has full memory capacity. We go visit every day which is a chore because Mom walks with walker and this summer has been one of hottest on record. The hospice nurse visits 3 times a week and shakes her head, amazed that she is still alive.

So I reach out to my readers….besides God’s will…what makes a person hang on like that? We thought she’d seen everyone we deemed potential reasons for her will to stay alive, but she just stares at you when she’s awake and will have a good day and a bad day, although the word ‘good day’ is a relative term as any caregiver can attest to.

Well, would enjoy hearing your comments….

It’s always nice to spend time with friends and family, but it’s also nice to have your home to yourself again. That’s how I feel tonight! After fighting the cold (no snow though) I had Christmas Eve and got my Mom out for the first time since Thanksgiving for Christmas Day. It’s really difficult to get her into the car and all that…and with the freezing weather, it is just too hard on her.

But you hear the older ones saying things that really make you think. You can tell by how they talk and statements they make that they really love being around the family. I think they know they might not make it another year so they relish the time they have.

What did you do with your holidays. How did you cope? Anything you want to talk about — just comment below.

39 Rules called the 2009 Handbook of Life

I am reposting an email I received today — we could use your help!

Subject: Survey for “Find A Cure” re: Alzheimer’s & get $25 donated

SURVEY – Get $25 donated to Alzheimer’s non-profit..

News and opportunity to caregivers…
Here’s an email I received:

“Your Caregiver Group on FB is really great. Thank you for providing this forum and support system. I work for a company called FIND A CURE PANEL and am the Director for AlZHEIMERs.

We have an Alzheimer’s caregivers research study coming up, so I’m reaching out to people who are involved in this field.

Find A Cure Panel specializes in finding respondents to take market research surveys in serious diseases including Alzheimer’s. This includes patients as well as caregivers.

For every completed survey, we donate a minimum of $25 to an Alzheimer’s related non profit. So, it’s a pretty great program where everyone benefits.”

If you can help or participate, contact
jfreeman@findacurepanel.com

Any caregiver will have days when they feel depressed, unwanted, and unloved. It is just a natural aspect of caring for elderly. The world seems to pass you by as you spend almost every waking moment thinking or doing for your ill parent.